Wednesday, June 24, 2009
LANGLEY, VA - Iran's interior minister accused the CIA of funding pro-democracy demonstrators, leading the agency to leak a report denying the charge. Interior Minister Sadeq Mahsouli stated the CIA funneled money to "rioters" and loomed behind unrest in Tehran. But the report, dated today, stated no agents were in Iran and if they were, they wouldn't be "looming." In addition, the report stated all cash for funding unrest had been taken away by presidential order and given to the State Department, who purchased millions of dollars of hot dog buns and condiments for a July 4 barbecue with Iranian diplomats. The report concluded by calling Iran's interior minister "a big homo" and included a poorly Photo Shopped image of Minister Mahsouli kissing Perez Hilton. All calls to the agency were answered by a machine that denied there was a Central Intelligence Agency.