HOLLYWOOD, CA - Breaking box office records on Friday, Twilight sequel New Moon continued to pack movie houses with an audience composed primarily of women and non assertive men. The vampire romance, starring Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart, has conducted extensive audience tracking revealing a high proportion of male weaklings. "We're seeing a lot of guys who've never asked for a raise," said theater owner Casey Gilmore, a former paratrooper. "Guys who are guilt-tripped into helping someone move every weekend." According to audience statistics, 17 percent of New Moon male attendees were regular men hoping to win girlfriend points. An additional 4 percent were gay or metrosexual, distinguished from weak men by Banana Republic clothing. The remaining 79 percent of men watched the film because they were manipulated, bullied, or simply suffered from general weakness and ended up at New Moon the way water seeks its own level. "I like weakies," said Gilmore. "You can tell 'em to clean up the theater afterwards and they will. That leaves more time for our regular employees to steal." (Photo: soundonsight.org)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Women, Weak Men Drawn to 'New Moon'
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Breaking box office records on Friday, Twilight sequel New Moon continued to pack movie houses with an audience composed primarily of women and non assertive men. The vampire romance, starring Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart, has conducted extensive audience tracking revealing a high proportion of male weaklings. "We're seeing a lot of guys who've never asked for a raise," said theater owner Casey Gilmore, a former paratrooper. "Guys who are guilt-tripped into helping someone move every weekend." According to audience statistics, 17 percent of New Moon male attendees were regular men hoping to win girlfriend points. An additional 4 percent were gay or metrosexual, distinguished from weak men by Banana Republic clothing. The remaining 79 percent of men watched the film because they were manipulated, bullied, or simply suffered from general weakness and ended up at New Moon the way water seeks its own level. "I like weakies," said Gilmore. "You can tell 'em to clean up the theater afterwards and they will. That leaves more time for our regular employees to steal." (Photo: soundonsight.org)
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1 comment:
It's probably true. There are tons of comments in the bloggosphere from guys embarrassingly admitting they actually went to the night showing of New Moon with their wives. They are either non assertive or don't want to admit they like the movie.
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