U.S. To Supply Workers for Chinese Railroads

BEIJING, CHINA - In talks with President Hu, Barack Obama has promised the Chinese government a steady supply of Americans to perform manual labor on the Chinese railroad system. Initial reports state the work force will be drawn from the unemployed and opponents of the President's healthcare initiative. While details have not been finalized, the Americans will be paid substandard wages, housed in shanties, worked like dogs, and, periodically, killed by drunken Chinese citizens. And while the workers will be supervised by Chinese, a portion of their meager pay goes directly to the Service Employees International Union who will help the Yanks fill out absentee ballots. "Instead of beating our chests, we listened thoughtfully with respect and the results are overseas jobs for Americans," said White House spokesperson Robert Gibbs. "Not only will the Chinese continue to underwrite our debt, but they're throwing in straw coolie hats free-of-charge. Now that's smart diplomacy." (Photo: lssu.edu)