Supreme Court Punches, Kicks D.C. Sniper

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Slated to die this evening in Virginia, D.C. Sniper John Allen Muhammad was not only denied a final emergency appeal, but was brought before the Supreme Court and physically attacked. According to Muhammad's attorney, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg struck their client with an index to the Federal Register while Justice Clarence Thomas delivered a roundhouse kick to the face that floored the killer. Before he could rise, the other justices fell upon Muhammad, stomping him for masterminding the killing and wounding of 22 people nationwide in 2002. Justice Sonia Sotomayor attempted to cram a bacon sandwich into Muhammad's mouth but was stopped by Justice John Paul Stevens who stated it was his lunch. "Total ferocity," said a law clerk who wished to remain anonymous. "Sometimes they're sarcastic and arch, but I've never seen such an awesome beat-down. I can't wait to see what happens when they finally get Nidal Malik Hasan." (Photo: hosted.ap.org)