Monday, November 30, 2009

Unemployment Drops After Jobless Renamed 'Leisure Americans'

WASHINGTON, D.C. - At his upcoming Jobs Summit, President Obama will announce a major fall in unemployment from 10.2 to 1 percent, brought about by renaming the jobless 'Leisure Americans.' "This is a huge step forward in solving the unemployment crisis," said White House spokesperson Miller Allen. "By shaping language to make it appear people have voluntarily left work so as to devote more time to personal activities, the President has met the challenge head-on." Miller also boasted that the homeless problem has been eradicated following an executive order by the president abolishing urban outdoor sleeping. "Boom. Gone. I wonder why no one thought of this before?" In related news, the State Department has renamed 10 new Iranian enrichment plants as 'tanning salons.' (Photo:

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