Scientists Toss Mice Into Hadron Collider

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - An experiment at the Hadron Collider involving proton beams smashing together at the speed of light was disrupted when scientists tossed mice into the beams to 'see what happened.' "I'm afraid it wasn't very professional," remarked Ernesto Bailar spokesperson for the Large Hadron Collider or LHC. "They'd [scientists] been working very hard on this experiment and got a little silly. It's a shame. The data might've given us clues into the creation of the universe. Now we'll never know." Bailar stated the mice vanished, but was unsure whether they disintegrated or got transported to another dimension. "They're gone for good, that we know for certain."