Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Deputy NSA Brennan Okay with Founded Fear-Mongering

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In another USA Today oped, Deputy National Security Advisor John Brennan stated it was perfectly acceptable for Americans to engage in fear-mongering founded on a rational basis. "Let's say you're sitting on an aircraft and the passenger next to you is wearing smoking underpants. At that point, the government would have no objections to you mongering your fear." Brennan, whose full title is Assistant to the President and Deputy National Security Advisor for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism, and who carries business cards the size of legal pads, also signed-off on any encounter with extremely large terrorists. "Terrorists aren't 100-feet tall. However, if you were to meet a terrorist, say, 9 feet tall or larger, it would be perfectly acceptable to fear-monger." Brennan stated fear-mongering would be unacceptable if it involved worry or criticism of a government obsessed with returning to the criminal justice approach to terrorism that worked so well in the 90s. "Dissent is patriotic," said Brennan, "but there are limits. We'll tell you what they are. In fact, we'll write them on your hand. Ha, ha, ha, do you get that? Robert Gibbs is soooo funny."

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