Saturday, July 4, 2009

Alger Hiss Prize Awarded to Myers

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Under house arrest, State Department spy Walter Myers was delighted to learn he'd won the coveted Alger Hiss Prize. "You work your whole life and, finally, your peers recognize you," said Myers. "I'm speechless until such time as my attorney arrives." Presented annually to the federal employee who spies for a communist government, the winner must have engaged in espionage for ideological reasons. "If you took cash, take a hike," said award chairman Mao Braverman. "We want candidates like Ana Belen Montes (2001 winner), who ratted out four U.S. agents to Havana while working at the Defense Intelligence Agency. That's the sort of forward-thinking initiative we value." Braverman said Hiss competition was stiff this year, following the unmasking of several Chinese agents, but Myers led the pack. "He spied for Cuba, then sailed his yacht around, ragging on capitalism. With an attitude like that, he could've been mayor of San Francisco or Kevin Spacey." Along with the Hiss award — a forty-pound iron slab containing a pen holder — Myers will receive a Beria wall calender, showing the KGB chief beating dissidents with a trench shovel, and a radio made of coal.Digg! (Photo:


Steve Burri said...

Myers was a good choice, but there were so many quality nominees, especially Congressmen, that are now utterly disappointed.

Ling Carter said...

However, it is an annual award.

Thus next year's promise stokes the fires of hope.