Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Healthcare Provision Allows Chimp Killing

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Buried deep in the House version of the healthcare bill is a provision that would allow lawmakers to dress up chimpanzees in suits and little hats and shoot them. "We're not sure who put that in or why, but the language is uncommonly clear," said a source close to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. The provision would earmark funds for clothing, ammunition, pizzas, and carcass disposal through the General Services Administration. The source didn't know if the provision would remain through House and Senate reconciliation. "No one reads these bills, so anything is possible. All I can say is someone on Capitol Hill wants to cap a monkey real bad."

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