Fashion Week: New Collections Clownish and Silly

NEW YORK CITY - Spring-Summer 2010 Fashion Week kicked off with a preview of Gerald Ducat's bold collection that signals a switch from femininity to buffoonish poor taste. Striking oranges, reds and purples replace delicate shades in outfits featuring large, fuzzy buttons and voluminous pants that will make any woman appear half-awake and stupid. Dresses made of forest green apartment awnings expose a single breast cutout that seems accidental. "The Ducat look is distinct, fierce, alive with a simmering appeal designed to bring out the inner goof," said Ducat, waving to Madonna. "These clothes are made to be worn with a drinking problem." As always, the Ducat collection will be backed by an extremely expensive fragrance and accessory line, bringing the cost of a complete Ducat outfit to around the price of buying Davenport, Iowa. Ducat embraced himself in a mirror. "What is fashion but the desire to make the rich pay a fortune for looking like street people with good teeth? Write that down. That's clever." (Photo: clydestuff.com)