Cannibals Back ObamaCare

THOUSAND OAKS, CA - Supporters of the President's healthcare plan expressed their displeasure by devouring a 65-year-old man who opposed a single-payer option. "He tasted like chicken," said Voracious American spokesperson Enoch Weathers. "But at least he'll no longer be shilling for the insurance companies." Weathers and other pro-healthcare cannibals back the government's plan because it eliminates prior conditions, something Weathers says the insurance companies use to discriminate against Voracious Americans. "Let an HMO find out you like eating people and they'll deny coverage. Is it any of their business?" Weathers grows angry when compared to cannibal zombies in movies such as Resident Evil and Dawn of the Dead. "We have jobs and pets and loved ones. Most of us can drive cars. We care deeply and are very passionate about healthcare. And we'll eat anyone who gets in our way. Plus we won't shop at Whole Foods." (Photo: puncturewound.blogspot.com)