Saturday, December 6, 2008

Hugo Chavez to Host Academy Awards

HOLLYWOOD, CA - The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has tapped Hugo Chavez to host the 2009 Oscars on ABC. Chosen over Whoopi Goldberg, the 54-year-old Venezuelan president is proving more demanding than the most spoiled diva. "He's a handful," said Academy spokesperson Anne Leupold. "We have to change the name of the Kodak Theatre to "Palace of the Revolution." Also he wants the show's director replaced by his brother Anibal, who owns a bank. That won't sit well with the Director's Guild." Other Chavez demands include no-bid vending contracts awarded to his other four brothers and the right to beat and imprison critical entertainment reporters. In addition, Chavez has petitioned the Academy to change its rules and appoint him Academy Awards Show host-for-life. "Some people feel he's a pushy, power-hungry megalomaniac," said Leupold. "But in Hollywood, that isn't really a drawback."

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