Tuesday, December 9, 2008
SPRINGFIELD, IL - Christmas shoppers can give the rarest of gifts in tough economic times - a job. Specifically, a government job in Illinois. Thanks to Democratic Governor Ron Blagojevich, consumers can purchase the Land of Lincoln Employment Gift Certificate and surprise their loved ones with a U.S. senate seat, or jobs on state boards, commissions or with the Service Employees International Union (SEIU). "This is just awesome," said Mindy Gambon. "My brother was laid off from Peet's Coffee, but now he'll be in charge of the DuPage County Road Commission." Denny Petrella had a similar story: "A few years back, my dad was electrocuted and hasn't been able to work. But my family chipped in and bought Barack Obama's U.S. senate seat. Dad'll like being a senator. He'll just have to go to the bathroom a lot." Despite being arrested on corruption charges, Governor Blagojevich urged shoppers to have faith, "This is a season of giving. Illinois government jobs are for the taking. Let's couple generosity with availability and have ourselves a merry little Christmas."