Saturday, December 20, 2008
TEHRAN, ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN - A spokesperson for Ayatollah Ali Khamenei announced the issuing of a legal pronouncement calling for the death of the mambo. "A most vile and blasphemous dance," said the spokesman, a small, creepy man with thick glasses and a beard. Sunni Islamic scholar Muhammod Sayid Al-Aleck stated that no sequence of dance steps has ever been singled out for destruction. "An interesting fatwa," mused Al-Aleck. "We're clearly dealing with a first here." What caused the leader of Iran to turn against an up-tempo Afro-Cuban dance? Al-Aleck reported unconfirmed rumors that the Supreme Leader's regular Al Jazeera satellite feed somehow intercepted a version of "Mambo No. 5." "They say the Ayatollah was shuffling across the floor yelling, 'Hey!' I think it shook him."