Thursday, December 18, 2008

Ted Schools Caroline in Scandal

ALBANY, N.Y. - Should Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg accept New York's open Democratic senate seat she should heed her Uncle. Senator Ted Kennedy has announced he'll instruct his niece in the finer points of scandal management. "Who better?" said Kennedy family spokesperson Roger Ashford. "Ted Kennedy literally walked away from manslaughter. He's drunk and womanized more than the crew of the U.S.S. Nimitz and nothing sticks. The man is encased in Lucite." What advice might the Massachusetts senator offer? "Caroline should remember that, as a Kennedy, it's almost impossible to screw up. Lord knows her uncle gave it his best. Just don't succeed."

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