Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Zimbabwe Surges Ahead in Hell Hole Cup

HARARE, ZIMBABWE - In a stunning late move, Zimbabwe has edged powerful North Korea for first place in the 2008 Hell Hole Cup. Awarded each year to the nation that best embodies the phrase "stinking, squalid hell hole," Zimbabwe seemed destined for another mid-pack finish when cholera struck, made worse by a horrid medical system. "Everyone loves an underdog," said Cup handicapper Dale McGuinness, who added, "Extreme poverty, incompetence and oppression might land you top ten, but never the big prize. Look at Algeria. You need that little something extra. And this cholera, along with pro-level corruption and hyperinflation, has shot Zimbabwe into the top slot." McGuinness noted North Korea wasn't about to fade. "They've been there before. Stalinism, nuclear weapons, and a psycho dictator are proven winners. But with only three weeks left in 2008, Zimbabwe's got the cup - unless the rest of North Korea finally starves to death. That would be tough to beat."

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