Tuesday, January 6, 2009
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Denied a seat for improper credentials by the Secretary of the Senate, Illinois appointee Roland Burris may yet enter the senate chamber provided he crouches. According to congressional historian Kelly Horner, "There are a number of obscure rules that Burris could use. For example, he could crouch next to his seat and put papers or a briefcase on top. Or he could squat. There's also a provision for Burris to sit on the floor yoga-style, provided his knees don't stick up in the air like duck wings." Burris is said to be considering these and other options such as offering the Secretary of the Senate a sack of cash.