Saturday, January 10, 2009
FLORRISANT, MO - A city worker announced that the face of Barack Obama had appeared to him in a Cobb salad. Travis Mitchell, age 52, reported the incident while dining at a local IHOP restaurant. "Romaine lettuce formed the ears, while baby corn and egg slices shaped themselves into a nose and mouth." Mitchell called over other diners who were sceptical. "He had balsamic vinaigrette all over his fingers," said IHOP regular Karen Nye, age 33. "I think he made that face to get on MSNBC." However Mitchell was quick to mention that Nye voted for John McCain. "Clearly, she had an agenda." Mitchell said Obama's face "whispered a message telepathically." According to Mitchell, Obama said that anyone who disagreed with Mitchell on any subject was filled with hate and that it was Okay to scream at them until his face turned beet red and spittle flew out his mouth. "So that's what I did," said Mitchell in a recent interview with Chris Matthews. "I screamed at Nye, then walked out of that IHOP and, oh, I forget to mention, Obama also said I didn't have to pay for Cobb salad with faces in it. So I got a freebie there."