Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Congress to Fund Interstellar Race

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Congress has been approached by an alien race, hoping for cash from the proposed stimulus package. Bzzort, a spokesalien for the Milky Way's Honn Empire, stated, "They [U.S. congress] are like a great money-throwing machine, famous throughout the galaxy. We'll use funding to complete our war against the hated Krem and purchase psychic wave shields for our oblong fighter craft. And maybe a few cases of sipping ammonia." However Treasury Secretary Timothey Geithner was quick to state, "This is no give-away. The Honn Empire will be closely regulated. I'll ensure the money is properly spent on disintegrating Krem and fighter craft upgrades, not wasted on sipping ammonia. That would be cheating."

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