Thursday, January 29, 2009

League of Zombie Voters Approves Stimulus Package

CHICAGO, IL- President Obama's stimulus package is eagerly awaited by an activist group that registers dead voters. "We're a voice to the voiceless," said Saul Pachinsky, chairman of the League of Zombie Voters. "The millions of federal dollars we'll receive will allow us [LZV] to expand the franchise to those previously denied because of life status." Pachinsky admits to a friendly rivalry with other community activist groups such as ACORN. "Sometimes we fight over the same dead person. But it's all in good fun." When questioned about the legality of his work, Pachinsky grew philosophic. "Whenever a person dies, they automatically become a Democrat and help the party out. Think of them as organ donors."

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