Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Stuttering, Jug-Eared Fellow Inaugurated President

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A man with ears like lemonade pitchers, whose favorite word is "uh," and who claims to have visited 57 states, was inaugurated the 44th president of the United States. With a record of past accomplishments that would impress a child of 8, Barack Obama will spend his first day in office at a $170-million dollar party before tackling serious economic problems. New vice-president Joe Biden and his wife will spend the day overcoming the effects of a powerful bison tranquilizer, injected to keep them from speaking to the media or anyone with a cell phone camera. "
(Photo: JAE C. HONG/Associated Press.)

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