Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Halo 3 Filled with Indecipherable Gibberish

KIRKLAND, WA - Bungie Studio's new stand-alone expansion for the popular Halo series will be released by Xbox with a soundtrack containing music, sound effects and indecipherable military gibberish. "We aren't sure what any characters are saying," said Bungie spokesperson Chip Jintry. "But it sounds kinda recon, kinda real, like the science on CSI." Jintry said Halo 3: ODST contains random number sequences, requests for 'sit-reps,' and meaningless math combos that sound like grid coordinates or targeting data. "I bought it," said Jintry. "But then, all my military experience comes from watching NATO air strikes on Live Leak. To be honest, in the gaming business, that practically makes me General Petraeus." Jintry states future editions - Halo 5: Tijuana R&R - will feature actual voices of ODST recon members ordering exotic drinks, laughing raucously and, later, talking in line outside a VD clinic. "We taped last year's Christmas party and got releases," said Jintry. "So that should work out pretty well." (Photo:


Anonymous said...

your a freak, if your looking for realism don't play a game were you fight aliens idiot

Ling Carter said...

We don't play the game.

We only report satirically on what the game contains.

Also, Halo 3 does not contain any "aliens idiot." The aliens in the game seem quite capable. In future, please do your homework before commenting.