Anthropogenic Accordion Music Threatens Planet

BELOIT, WI - Inspired by the UN Climate Summit, one accordion player is pumped up over playing green. "I need to do my part and help the Earth by performing smarter, more energy efficient songs," said musician Andy "Stosh" Czarninski. Czarninski has vowed to avoid up tempo ditties such as 'Flight of the Bumblebee' or Klezmer music, instead concentrating on sustainable tunes such as John Lennon's 'Give Peace a Chance.' "After a point, its the same notes over and over forever. That's efficient and sustainable if you can stay awake." Czarninski, who plays a Hohner 460 Polkamaster with Tyrolean shoulder straps, suggests fellow accordion players keep their instruments in tune by checking metal coil springs and rubber membrane contacts. "And don't forget the bellows. Make sure there's no leaks. That way the reeds will respond better to pressure changes. That's how we can play sustainable songs and save the world. Anyone says different is an accordion denier." (Photo:library.thinkquest.org)