Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Today in Global Warming History

  • These events critical to the future of the planet took place on December 15:
  • 1811 - Massive earthquake strikes New Madrid, Missouri as the result of cow and chicken droppings that aided global warming, causing Gaia to retaliate.
  • 1939 - Gone With the Wind premiers. Smoke from the burning of Atlanta directly contributed to anthropogenic global warming.
  • 1954 - Fordham University drops football after it is learned that all team sports except soccer contribute to global warming.
  • 1964 - Canada adopts Maple Leaf flag, replacing old emblem of drowned polar bears, bobbing dead in an iceless sea.
  • 1973 - Pirates of the Caribbean ride opens at Disneyland without offsetting its carbon footprint.
  • 1990 - Rock star Rod Stewart marries super model Rachel Hunter in a ceremony that featured fireworks which subsequently destroyed the ozone layer.

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