Monday, December 28, 2009

TSA Posts New Security Measures on Web

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In the wake of the Christmas day terrorist attack aboard a Detroit-bound aircraft, the Transportation Security Administration announced they had already posted updated security measures online. TSA spokesperson Larry Whiskett stated, "We caught a lot of grief last time. By pro-actively releasing gate security procedures onto the Internet, passengers and others can see how we plan to to deal with religious nuts wearing explosive-laden underwear. I believe this will preempt negative press." Whiskett warned travelers to arrive at the airport early and expect delays from the new security procedures as well as twin Global Warming Storms, identical to blizzards, blanketing the Midwest and East. (Photo:

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