Polanski Bullied in Swiss Prison, Forced to Build Clock

BERNE, SWITZERLAND - Reports have surfaced that imprisoned rapist Roman Polanski has been harassed by other prisoners who have forced him to build an intricate cuckoo clock. "Swiss prison is a tough place," said guard Gustav Hundhosen. "Polanski is perceived as weak, and so must construct amusing time pieces for the stronger prisoners." The noted film director had been assigned a workshop job making pocket knives for the military when he ran afoul of a several convicts. Polanski refused to direct their crude reenactment of Thorton Wilder's Our Town. Hundhosen stated, "For his refusal, Polanski must build a clock that features a maiden, a hag and an ogre all fighting over who will strike the hourly chime. And he will be required to get it correct in every detail or face the consequences, which will include shame and having his chocolate ration gobbled up." (Photo: mydeco.com)