Friday, October 9, 2009

Academy Awards Open To Waiters and Car Parkers

HOLLYWOOD, CA - The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will now consider waiters, car parkers, and security guards for Lifetime Achievement Oscars. "They don't need credits or any film experience," said Academy spokesperson Darwin Alba. "In fact, the committee doesn't care if they can't tell craft services from a roll of gaffer's tape. The Academy is interested in star potential and possible future accomplishments."Alba was quick to assure other Lifetime Achievement winners that their Oscars were in no way diminished. "This is a fun, new manner of being inclusive," said Alba. "Why should the tyranny of deeds keep people from winning awards?" (Photo:

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