Saturday, October 31, 2009

Zombies Face Brain Tax

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Hidden within Speaker Pelosi's healthcare bill is a new tax on eating brains that has infuriated the undead community. "This is rank discrimination," stated attorney Charles Beamon, undead spokesperson. "My clients are deceased, voiceless except for grunts, low moans and snarls. This makes them easy targets for punitive taxation." In addition, Beamon stated the healthcare bill ignored zombie dietary needs. "They only eat one thing. Serve 'em brains and a salad and they'll eat the brains. Sure, the bill mentions 'brain co-ops,' and 'private cranial options,' but there is serious doubt the government can deliver. If zombies could talk they'd probably have a saying like: 'all shuffle and no bite.' That's what we think of this plan." Beamon added that the undead plan a march on Washington within the month, where they hope to meet Speaker Pelosi and eat her brains. "If they can find any," joked Beamon. "Just kidding. Hope that's not a hate crime." (Photo:

1 comment:

Steve Burri said...

It's a shocker to me. As a voting bloc, Zombies votes 98% for Obama, with 2% for Nader.

I expect a lot of them are changing their non-minds by now.