Thursday, October 22, 2009

Polka Stars Demand Gitmo Investigation

MILWAUKEE, WI - Concerned Polka Artists Against Guantanamo (CPAAG) have demanded an investigation into which polka tunes were played for prisoners under interrogation. "We found out through a Freedom of Information paper that they played our songs to some of those guys," stated CPAAG spokesperson Stan Haskellet. A polka musician himself, and composer of the "Toothless Bride Two-Step," Haskellet and CPAAG are upset that their music was used without proper licensing. "BMI and ASCAP (music licensing agencies) got no paperwork, nothing. So how we supposed to get royalties? If Myron Floren were alive he'd spit beer kegs." The music of Haskellet and 'Sweet Barry' Kowalski of the Polkawhirls has been mentioned in official documents as being particularly effective in getting prisoners to talk. "Well, Okay, so some Arab fellas blabbed," said Haskellet. "But we still want to know which songs by which artists and how many times were they played. And we'd better start seeing checks or somebody's getting an accordion up their kiester." (Photo:


Steve Burri said...

Don't get this ol' Wisconsin boy started, Ling.

Through my head right now ring the lyrics to 'In Heaven There is No Beer, That's Why We Drink It Here' and 'I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her,... She's Too Fat for Me.'

Bless you, my son!

Ling Carter said...

Frankie Yankovic would be proud.