Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sudan Policy Introduces Genocide Coupons

KHARTOUM, SUDAN - In an attempt to reduce killing in Darfur, the U.S. announced it will offer 'genocide coupons' to Khartoum for each massacre they refrain from committing. "This is smart, realistic diplomacy," said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. "The Sudanese government will receive a coupon each time they stop themselves from butchering villagers. These coupons may be exchanged for lighter sanctions or a boxed CD set of President Obama's speeches." Sudanese President Bashir welcomed the new approach. "Coupons provide a real incentive for us to watch ourselves. I feel less massacre-y than ever." Clinton dismissed critics who labeled the new policy 'unrealistic.' "Coupons are a proven commodity. They'll work just as well, if not better, than reset buttons." (Photo: airsolutionsnw.com)

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