Jar of Beans Will Determine Afghan Strategy

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Stung by European complaints of dithering on Afghanistan, President Obama announced his strategic decision will be based on what color bean he pulls from a large jar. "We're using an empty mayonnaise jar filled with beans in four colors," said White House Communications Director Anita Dunn. "Red means send more troops and win, white means leave at once, green means stay but recycle, and gray means stay, look busy, but don't really do anything." The bean jar was suggested by the Vice President, who jokingly referred to it as the 'Biden Doctrine.' Dunn stated the President will be blindfolded, then select a bean sometime in early November. "The President is confident he'll make the right decision. If not, it'll be the fault of Bush." (Photo: brewpublic.com)