Thursday, October 15, 2009

Howard Dean Sausages Linked to Rage in Lab Mice

PALO ALTO, CA - Good news and bad news for Howard Dean as his new breakfast sausages hit the shelves at the same time as a Stanford University report claiming Dean's pork patties caused rage in laboratory mice. The report stated tests were conducted with white mice sampling Dean's patty and link sausages. Within minutes, the fur around their throats turned red and the mice began emitting a series of harsh squeaks, eyes popping from their skulls as if trying to escape. Stanford researcher Dr. Hans Engebbi added, "They bit pencils in half and soiled a photo of Glenn Beck with mousy pellets." Democratic National Committee Chairman Dean erupted over the report. "This is nothing but right-wing SLANDER, orchestrated by BIG MEAT, attempting to ruin and destroy the first PROGRESSIVE BREAKFAST SAUSAGE!!!!" Chairman Dean then proceeded to bite a microphone in half and soiled a photo of Michelle Malkin. (Photo:

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