WASHINGTON, D.C. - First Lady Michelle Obama has decorated every room in the White House with paintings of muscular, upper arms. "She knows what she likes," said art critic Giles Muskeen. "And so far, she really likes arms from the elbow up." Preferring unknown artists, the First Lady has purchased an entire collection by Cyril Penumbra, mid-century bicep painter, specializing in naval tattoos. Said Muskeen, "One entire wall of the East Wing is covered in a Penumbra oil depicting a hairy, muscular bicep with a color tattoo of the U.S.S. Houston, sinking by the bow in the Java Sea, all guns blazing. Very patriotic and it certainly fills the space." In addition, there are conceptual biceps by limb artist Flasko. "Can't tell what they are,"noted Muskeen. "But Flasko said they're upper limbs." In addition, the First Lady has commissioned thirty-one, different artists to render her own shapely, well-toned biceps in oil and chalk. "These will go out as gifts to heads-of-state and various post offices," said Muskeen. "Everyone loves a bicep painting. And anyone who doesn't is racist." (Photo: bluedevils.org)
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Michelle Fills White House with Bicep Paintings
WASHINGTON, D.C. - First Lady Michelle Obama has decorated every room in the White House with paintings of muscular, upper arms. "She knows what she likes," said art critic Giles Muskeen. "And so far, she really likes arms from the elbow up." Preferring unknown artists, the First Lady has purchased an entire collection by Cyril Penumbra, mid-century bicep painter, specializing in naval tattoos. Said Muskeen, "One entire wall of the East Wing is covered in a Penumbra oil depicting a hairy, muscular bicep with a color tattoo of the U.S.S. Houston, sinking by the bow in the Java Sea, all guns blazing. Very patriotic and it certainly fills the space." In addition, there are conceptual biceps by limb artist Flasko. "Can't tell what they are,"noted Muskeen. "But Flasko said they're upper limbs." In addition, the First Lady has commissioned thirty-one, different artists to render her own shapely, well-toned biceps in oil and chalk. "These will go out as gifts to heads-of-state and various post offices," said Muskeen. "Everyone loves a bicep painting. And anyone who doesn't is racist." (Photo: bluedevils.org)
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7 comments:
The activists and lawyers representing the Iliocostalis Lumbora of America are organizing a protest of the White House and perhaps even a lawsuit.
"Bicep art is originated with the barbarous Vikings. The tramp stamp, on the other hand, is as American as mother, baseball, and apple pie," stated activist Herbie 'Tattoo' Villechaize.
We were unable to confirm a rumor that the original East Wing art piece was to be the sinking of the Lipscombe Bay off Makin, but since it was a tramp stamp painting, Michelle rejected it out of hand.
Oh crap. I now realize this is a really cool satirical site. Damn. I thought something was off .. but the concept is a great one! Congratulations !! The USS Houston folks should get a kick out of this anyway.
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