Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Chemical Ali's Last Request: Recite Periodic Table

BAGHDAD, IRAQ - Former Saddam henchman Ali Hassan al-Majid, also known as 'Chemical Ali,' was executed by hanging shortly after requesting to name all the elements in the Periodic Table. "We said 'no,' because there are a lot of elements and it was hot," stated a government spokesman. There are currently 117 elements in the Periodic Table. Witnesses stated Ali named hydrogen, lithium, and sodium and had uttered the first syllable of potassium when the trap door sprung. "We usually give the condemed a customary last word," said the spokesman. "Cursing, weeping, threats, begging, remose, defiance, vows to haunt are all within bounds. But running through the Periodic Table was cheeky. Fortunately, we stopped him ['Chemical Ali'] at potassium. He was a dog in life and, in death, clearly violated the spirit of last words." (Photo: AFP via BBC)

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