Puppeteers Demand Anti-War March

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Under pressure from the National Large Puppeteers Union, A.N.S.W.E.R. will hold a march on Washington March 20 to protest the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. "People have been thrown out of work by the absence of anti-war marches," said NLPU spokesperson Andrew Frawn. "Many of our members have tried street advertising and children's television, but there's little call outside the anti-war market for devilish Uncle Sams or huge figures of Cheney in striped convict garb ." A fierce debate has broken out over whether to portray President Obama with a Hitler moustache . "Tough call," says Frawn. "If it's a 'yes,' someone may just alter a large head of Condoleezza Rice, add big ears, and paint on a moustache. But in all probability, we'll go with Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld puppets since we've got so stinkin' many." Frawn hopes the March 20 event kick-starts a dormant industry. "Our people need to be outdoors working huge puppets. That's our thing. That's how we roll." (Poster: A.N.S.W.E.R.)