Inspired by 'Avatar,' Al Qaeda Dons Blue Paint

TORA BORA, AFGHANISTAN - Energized by the alien slaughter of American troops in Avatar, Al Qaeda fighters plan painting themselves blue. "What a fantastic ending to a movie," said Al Qaeda spokesperson Abdul-Ghani Naser. "All those marines butchered. I went back to my cave floating on a cloud, like a nine-year-old girl on her wedding night." Eager to emulate the alien Na'vi in battle, AQ fighters, according to Naser, are having trouble finding the right blue. "All the men wanted the same shade, which they are calling 'Pandora Blue.' And they are willing to make stylistic concessions so the blue matches their ammunition belts. But in Pakistan, they only sold Periwinkle and this greenish crap called Tiffany Blue. We needed something more Azure." A fashion consultant from Paris attempted to reach Al Qaeda headquarters but was blown up in a Predator strike. "Some of his color patches survived," said Naser. "Hopefully, we can start coordinating uniforms until someone finds enough Pandora Blue to go around." Naser appreciated the work of Avatar director James Cameron. "Dead U.S. marines boost our morale like a beheading on a bright spring morning. If Cameron needs help blinding any women, he should just 'give a holler' as you Americans say. We owe him a solid." (Photo: commons.wikimedia.org)