President Supports Malaria

ATLANTA, GA - In an attempt to eradicate new more deadly strains of malaria, the Center for Disease Control has asked President Obama to come out in support of the disease. "I guess you could say it's sort of reverse psychology," said Doctor Aiden Knead. "Everything the President backs ends up losing like Coakley, health care, you name it. So why not put his talent, if you will, to good use." In a series of PSAs taped at the White House, President Obama has urged the people of Africa, Asia and South America to plant mosquito larva in every mud puddle and damp spot they can find or create. 'Make no mistake," said the President in one PSA, 'there are those who say malaria will kill you. But I say catching the disease will be a memorable, enriching experience akin to your first kiss or finding a golden shoe.' Dr. Knead was philosophical, "Hopefully, malaria withers under the President's support. Sad to say, but the man has a Midas Touch: everything he handles turns into a car muffler."(Art: PD Photos)