Salt the New Vitamin C

PALO ALTO, CA- A study using computer models indicates that an increase in salt is good for you. Conducted by Dr. Neil Fingler of Stanford Community College, the study recommends people increase levels by carrying around a bar of salt. "Lick it like a Popsicle while you're in line at the grocery store," said Fingler. "That's what I do. More salt you have the better your skin will preserve." Dr. Fingler is a fanatic about salt intake. "It's good tasting, and it comes in shakers and packets. It's like vitamin C only salty." While the Food and Drug Administration haven't responded to Fingler's study, the scientist is hopeful the FDA will take the lead and make public salt licks mandatory. "Imagine having a salt wheel on every other light pole in a big city? Some see what is and say why? I see what's never been and say, 'Let's add salt.'"