U.S. Frees Gitmo Terrorists For Future Kidnap Victims

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an unusual move, President Obama announced the U.S. would release all Gitmo terrorists in exchange for the promised release of any Westerners kidnapped in the future. "They [Islamic terrorists] weren't expecting this," smirked White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "We know that those responsible for man-caused disasters are going to kidnap someone eventually. But now, they'll have to release that person at once because we've already released all their people. One step ahead, I'd say." Al Qaeda spokesperson Abdul-Ghani Naser stated, "We agreed to the exchange, but, by the Prophet's beard, it sounds clever. If we kidnap someone new, the Americans could say, 'Look how many of yours we let go. You must free this fresh victim at once.' It will certainly make us think twice." Gibbs laughed, "Logically and morally we have them. This war business is easy." (Photo: allisonkilkenny...)