Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Kevin Jennings to CIA for Interrogations

LANGLEY, VA - Information has leaked that Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings has been transferred to the Central Intelligence Agency for the purpose of interrogating captured terrorists. "It's a legal end-run," stated an anonymous source within the CIA. "With water boarding off the table, the agency figured to pressure terrorists by having Jennings threaten them with various exotic sexual practices." According to the source, the off-beat sexual practices were tacitly approved by Massachusetts' educators and included by Jenings in a pamphlet issued to school children. Attorneys have agreed that they [sexual practices] would fall outside any legal definition of torture. The source admired what he termed a "brilliant move. The agency isn't even calling it 'interrogation.' They're calling it a 'diversity seminar.' We have the Safe Schools Czar instructing a terrorist in tolerance by punching him up the butt with an iron glove. Think he'll talk? Win win." (Photo: theknightshop.co.uk)

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