Thursday, January 7, 2010

Junkies Issue Guide on How to be New York City Mayor

NEW YORK CITY, NY - Heroin junkies across the city have issued a free guide book explaining how Michael Bloomberg could be a better mayor. Paid for with funds from the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, the guide book lists common sense tips such as 'hold press conferences,' 'ban cigarette smoking,' and 'promote heroin addiction.' A spokeperson for the mayor's office, Donald Meyerson, stated Bloomberg would read the book 'with interest.' "We like good ideas," said Meyerson. "Just because a person is addicted to heroin and committing burglaries and other crimes to support their habit, doesn't mean they lack keen political insight. After all, Stalin robbed banks and look how far he got in life." (Photo:

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